* The first step is to admit that you are feeling overwhelmed. * It’s important to involve your whole self (mind & body) in order to get the most effective results when overcoming overwhelm. * Tools and techniques you can use include breathing exercises, writing lists, and learning to say no. Yes, we’re still overwhelmed. No, we don’t just need to learn to relax. In our series of articles about career development and returning to work after maternity leave or a break, we explore the topic of how to deal with feeling overwhelmed. For more advice on how to get back into your career, sign up for a course with [Get Unstuck Career Coaching on the Nabta Health Women’s Shop](https://nabtahealth.com/product/back-to-work-online-career-coaching/). The 4 part ‘get back to work’ course includes a session on Using Emotional Intelligence as a Foundation for Career Development. By the end of the program, participants have the tools and confidence they need to approach job opportunities. Recognising overwhelm, and learning how to overcome feeling overwhelmed are crucial to tackling new challenges such as [work](https://www.getunstuckcareercoaching.com/post/getting-back-to-work-after-pregnancy), with confidence. #### Feeling constantly overwhelmed With everything that’s happened in the last year, the effects of the pandemic are still very real and will continue to affect us for some time. One of those effects is this feeling of constant overwhelm. Overwhelm of emotions, change, information, grief, and the unknown that is ultimately scraping away at our overall well-being. We mustn’t forget that our well-being is always important and just because time has passed since the beginning of the pandemic doesn’t mean that it’s gotten any easier to manage. We all know, rationally, the things we can do to help: eat healthier, exercise, get quality sleep. But it can be hard to do these things when you’re stuck in overwhelm. So, let’s look at some practical things you can start doing today that may help you get started. First of all, if you find yourself feeling this way a lot, you’re not alone. It can be difficult to admit but there are more of us feeling overwhelmed than not. Second, there are some things that you can try that might give you a little breathing room. You’ll notice that a couple of the things I mention below have to do with your body and I believe it’s important to involve your whole self (mind & body) in order to get the most effective results. #### How to overcome feeling overwhelmed ##### 1 **Breathe** More specifically, breathe in for 7 seconds and breathe out for 11 seconds. And repeat for at least 1 minute. You can also breathe in for 4 and out for 8, the idea is that you’re breathing out for a longer period of time than you’re breathing in. This method of breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, slows your heart rate down, and allows your body to slow down. I first learned about this technique during a hypnobirthing course I did when I was pregnant and have sworn by it ever since. ##### 2 **Make a list** Write it down using a pen and paper. Make a list of everything that is on your to-do list, everything that is causing the overwhelm. A great technique that I follow was created by [Ryder Carroll, the author, and creator of the Bullet Journal.](https://bulletjournal.com/pages/about) He says to create 3 columns and in the first one write down all the things that you’re currently working on, in the second column make a list of everything you should be working on, and in the third column list everything you want to be working on. Spend time on this exercise, don’t rush it. Each thing can be written down as a bullet point in short form. This method allows you to see your mental inventory. Then you want to look at this inventory you’ve created and ask yourself, for each bullet point, 1) Does this matter? (not just to you but maybe someone you care about) And 2) Is this vital? (to your housing, loans, job, etc.) Any point on your list that you answer with a “No” to both of these questions, can then come off your list. You should be left with only things that matter and/or are vital to you. “Everything else is a distraction,” says Carroll. He also mentions that it’s more beneficial to do this using a pen and paper so that you can be more mindful and present (rather than typing it on your phone or computer). ##### 3 **Learn to say “no”** And then keep practicing until it becomes a natural way for you to prioritize the tasks, people, and situations that you know won’t cause you unnecessary stress. Just like the mental inventory exercise above, notice what activities you’re doing that make you counter-productive and take up a lot of energy, which ones can you stop doing today? Next time someone asks for your help for example, instead of jumping in and saying yes, can you take a moment of reflection to ask yourself whether this is a priority or not? When you say yes to something that you know will stress you out and is not a priority, it’s like you’re saying yes to overwhelm too. What do you want to say yes to instead? How much of the overwhelm is caused by these situations? It can seem too obvious but when we’ve been practicing saying yes to almost every request, it can seem like it’s part of our identity but it’s not. You are always in control and are always at choice. Start with one thing today, and commit to practicing the exercise. Carve out at least 15 minutes today to get started and prioritize managing your overwhelm, instead of it managing you. To learn more about how to build your emotional strength and apply this in a work context, consider using a [career coach.](https://nabtahealth.com/product/back-to-work-online-career-coaching/) You’ll gain the tools you’ll need and you will develop self awareness and social awareness, self management skills and relationship management skills. Get Unstuck’s session on [Using Emotional Intelligence as a Foundation for Career Development](https://nabtahealth.com/product/back-to-work-online-career-coaching/) is a great one for learning practical techniques for building confidence when returning to work. Reviewed by the Nabta Editorial Team
* There are several aspects of resilience that go beyond just bouncing back. * The ‘window of tolerance’ is where you are able to respond in a resourceful way to stressful situations. * Recovery is how quickly and frequently you are able to go back to your window of tolerance. * Understanding this helps you build resilience, find your strengths and develop a growth mindset. What is resilience, why do we need it and how do we build it? In our series of articles about career development and returning to work after maternity leave or a break, we explore the topic of resilience. For more advice on how to get back into your career, sign up for a course with [Get Unstuck Career Coaching on the Nabta Health Women’s Shop](https://nabtahealth.com/product/back-to-work-online-career-coaching/). The 4 part ‘get back to work’ course includes a session on Finding Your Strengths and Developing a Growth Mindset. By the end of the program, participants have the tools and confidence they need to approach job opportunities. Resilience is a key part of that. A lot of the time, resilience is described as being able to “bounce back” like a spring, and years ago I learned that it’s also about bouncing forward. Once we go through a challenging and difficult time, we come out the other side differently and forever changed. #### **What is resilience?** The first aspect to understanding resilience is the window of tolerance (WOT). When you are inside your WOT, you are able to respond in a resourceful way to stressful situations, come up with creative solutions to challenges, and overall be able to self-manage. When we are outside our WOT, we react in a way that is unfavorable, on one side either by overreacting or on the other side of the window, not reacting at all and sometimes retreating and avoiding any reaction. The second aspect of resilience is recovery – what is the frequency and speed at which you are able to recover from setbacks or challenges? This is what “bouncing back” means, to go back into your window of tolerance. So knowing these 2 aspects of resilience we can notice that resilience is inherent in all of us. It’s a state that connects us to a more positive, resourceful place. It also keeps us more open, more alive, and more hopeful towards the future. [Research shows us](https://www.apa.org/index) that there are certain factors that affect cultivating and building our resilience, and it comes from a collection of studies that looked into how humans who have faced prolonged situations of trauma and stress has managed to survive and also thrive – in other words, humans who demonstrated a high level of resilience. These are people like children who come from abusive backgrounds, army veterans who experienced violence, and survivors of domestic abuse. And these are some of the key resilience factors to having a more connected and contributive life post their experiences: * Connection to [art](https://nabtahealth.com/glossary/art/) – music, film, dance, painting/drawing, reading, poetry, etc. * Connection to at least 1 other person * Connection to nature & the world around us * Connection to animals * Making a difference for others #### **What do we need to develop resilience**? There are many different ways to cultivate your resilience and one way is to look closely at the above factors. You can choose 2 of these factors that you’ve recently experienced yourself and note down your experience. Once you have your 2 examples, choose one for now and remember all the details of that experience. Where were you, what were doing, who was there, how did you feel? What other sensations can you pinpoint? If you take away one thing from this post it’s this “we become what we practice” and we’re ALWAYS practicing something. Then we can practice, meaning do the thing that you’ve just identified again, have the same or similar experience again, but this time on purpose. What’s one thing that you can do (maybe it’s once a week, or once a month) from these 5 factors that will help you build your resilience? If you practiced ON PURPOSE then you would be working on widening your window of tolerance, and increasing your frequency and speed of coming back into your window. Increasing your resilience doesn’t all of a sudden make everything “easy”. Challenges will still be, well, challenging. But your ability to overcome and move forward becomes stronger and you will be able turn challenges into opportunities. Stress, frustration, anger, etc. all the “negative” emotions and responses, will still be a part of life and the way we experience it. But when we can accept this in ourselves, then we can make space for it in others, and ultimately create more coherence, understanding and invite others to also widen their Windows of Tolerance. Resilience helps you [handle stress](https://positivepsychology.com/stress-management-techniques-tips-burn-out/) more positively and this is very important when you are juggling a family as well as a career. If you are a mother and you are looking for holistic solutions for getting back to work after maternity leave, consider using a [career coach.](https://nabtahealth.com/product/back-to-work-online-career-coaching/) Reviewed by the Nabta Editorial Team. #### Sources American Psychological Association, [https://www.apa.org/index](https://www.apa.org/index) Get Unstuck Career Coaching, [https://www.getunstuckcareercoaching.com/post/resilience-what-is-it-and-how-can-you-build-it](https://www.getunstuckcareercoaching.com/post/resilience-what-is-it-and-how-can-you-build-it)
